darkblaze6 asked:

If you joined the mafia you'd inevitably wake up to a horse head in your bed. A note will be off to the side saying "SEXIST CIS PIG"

I’m imagining the SJW Mafia now.

"You have 3 days to get 300 notes on my post or I’m gonna break your fuckin’ legs, Vinny."

The sad part is, I’ve lived in Philadelphia all my life, my family is ultra Italian, and I’m 5’3” with no chance of getting taller.  This means that my only path in life is to be a short Italian man who owns a steak/hoagie/pizza shop in the heart of Philly, complete with walking around Broad Street with slicked back hair, a cigar and a suitcase everyday.  My store regulars will identify me on the street and be like “Ey, Nico, my goomba!! How ya doin’?” and I’ll just be like “Eeeey, Joey, how are ya?” and then we’ll hang out by outside the dry cleaners and talk about where in Philly we can get the best deals on everyday needs.  It’ll get so extreme that this’ll play every time I walk into a building just out of sheer principle.

Or should I just join the mafia?

darkblaze6 asked:

Where do I go to get my privilaged checked? I would assume the DMV, or is it a specialized facility?

Joe Schepelli down on 21st street. You go in, pay only $15 on Sunday, and he’ll give you a full, quick privilege check.  I used to stop there every day during my lunch break.  Y’know Vince Ferrero’s Steaks on 17th street?  You go there, make a right, then keep going straight and his place is on the left. Best privilege checker in all of Philly, man.

darkblaze6 asked:

Well, do what I do when someone's bugging me about unimporant shit. State something really fucking serious thats happen in real life. Like that reporter that ISIS decided to behead.

That shit’s not important right now, Blaze, we have bigger fish to fry!  The AVGN just called the PSVita a cunt!  How the fuck do we live with THIS?